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Good Examples Smith was a religious, Christian man. His notion of monads included contextual references to God. He believed that God controls the harmony of life through these monads. The essay then goes on to discuss these monads in a Christian context.

Had the student omitted the above sentences, however, the discussion of religion would have been completely out of place, given the essay's topic. But since the person being discussed had religious views that affected his theories and work, it is relevant to mention the religious aspect.

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Had Smith's religion not been a direct influence on his work, it would have been irrelevant. Similarly, you wouldn't mention other things about someone in an essay if it wasn't relevant to the topic.

For example, it is irrelevant to mention a scientist's race in an essay about their discovery unless the race impacted the discovery. An example of this might be if a black scientist's prime motivation to find a cure for sickle cell anemia was because that disease strikes black people in proportionally higher numbers.

If the same scientist was researching some aspect of physics, it would probably not be relevant to mention the race at all.

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Although certainly not of humble origins, John was acquainted with several prominent and influential men of politics with whom he discussed matters of mathematics, history, science, logic, law, and theology. Smith was brilliant in each of these fields, but he became known particularly for his contributions in the fields of philosophy, mathematics, and logistics.

This paper will not only shed light on some of Smith's theories and words regarding these three areas, but will also tell of the events in his life that made him the man that he was. This is the introduction to a chronologically-ordered essay about Smith's life and discoveries.

As such, the choice to begin with his date of birth is a good one. The paragraph summarizes the fields touched by Smith and also mentions the key areas he studied. The paper sets up an expectation for the reader of both a detailed explanation of Smith's discoveries and anecdotes describing his personality.

The sentence structure is grammatically sound and flows well. Bad Examples In the late 's, Smith's mother returned to London, she then pulled him out of school with the intent to make him a farmer. Apostrophes indicate possessiveness or contractions, not plurality. The decade is the s. The sentence is a run-on.

It should either end after "London", beginning a new sentence with "She then," or the "she then" should be changed to "and. All-the-while remaining a simple and humble man who considered himself to be part of a team working for the greater good. The bolded part is not a complete sentence.

The entire thing should be one sentence. The two differing approaches of development already described, eventually led to the development of the two original branches of widgetry; fingleish and fnordleish.

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This sentence is mispunctuated. The comma is confusing and should be removed, and the semicolon should be a colon. Awkward Wording Another of Smith's ideas was the method of differentiation.

The university re-opened after the plague in Smith was elected to a minor fellowship, and awarded a major fellowship after he received his Master's Degree Bogus 4. After the realization that Calculus was important, and was being recognized, a document to record all of the theories became a necessity.

The Methodis Differantium, the document that contained the elements of the theory of differentiation, was created in Smith believed he was being pulled in two directions when it came to publishing his theories and making his work known. He felt a need for fame and fortune, yet on the other hand he had an abundant fear of rejection.

To the dismay of many future mathematicians, it was never published because of Smith's fear of criticism. Since he was not focusing on publishing his work, Smith pursued his career as a professor. This so-called paragraph is an utter mess.

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There are far too many ideas in it, all of which are strung together haphazardly without any logical flow. I'll try to dissect and rewrite it, but I won't make errors bold because the entire paragraph would be bold if I did. First, let's pick out the different topics being addressed:The possibility of getting a much needed advice from someone willing to write my college essay for me is appealing.

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